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Вятърът винаги духа в посока непушача...

 

О-о, обърках темата....

Edited by Goonie
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THIS IS AN ACTUAL CUSTOMER REVIEW FROM A MAN ON AMAZON.CO.UK AFTER USING VEET HAIR REMOVAL CREAM FOR MEN.After having been told my danglies looked like an elderly Rastafarian I decided to take the plunge and buy some of this as previous shaving attempts had only

been mildly successful and I nearly put my back out trying to reach the more difficult bits. Being a bit of a romantic I thought I would do the deed on the missus's birthday as a bit if a treat.I ordered it well in advance and working in the North Sea I considered myself a bit above some of the characters writing the previous reviews and wrote them off as soft office types...Oh my fellow sufferers how wrong I was. I waited until the other half was tucked up in bed and after giving some vague hints about a special surprise I went down to the bathroom. Initially all went well and I applied the gel and stood waiting for something to happen. I didn' have have long to wait.At first there was a gentle warmth which in a matter of seconds was replaced by an intense burning and a feeling I can only describe as like being given a barbed wire wedgie by two people intent on hitting the ceiling with my head. Religion hadn't featured much in my life until that night but I suddenly became willing to convert to any religion to stop the violent burning around the turd tunnel and what seemed like the the destruction of the meat and two veg. Struggling not to bite through my bottom lip I tried to wash the gel off in the sink and only succeeded in blocking the plughole with a mat of hair. Through the haze of tears I struggled out of the bathroom across the hall into the kitchen, by this time walking was not really possible and I crawled the final yard to the fridge in the hope of some form of cold relief. I yanked the freezer drawer out and found a tub of ice cream, toe the lid off and positioned it under me. The relief was fantastic but only temporary as it melted fairly quickly and the fiery stabbing returned. Due to the shape of the ice cream tub I hadn'nt managed to give the starfish any treatment and I groped around in the draw for something else as I was sure my vision was going to fail fairly soon. I grabbed a bag of what I later found out was frozen sprouts and tore it open trying to be quiet as I did so. I took a handful of them and an tried in vain to clench some between the cheeks of my arse. This was not doing the trick as some of the gel had found its way up the chutney channel and it felt like the space shuttle was running its engines behind me.This was probably and hopefully the only time in my life I was going to wish there was a gay snowman in the kitchen which should give you some idea of the depths I was willing to sink to in order to ease the pain. The only solution my pain crazed mind could come up with was to gently ease one of the sprouts where no veg had gone before.Unfortunately, alerted by the strange grunts coming from the kitchen the other half chose that moment to come and investigate and was greeted by the sight of me, arse in the air, strawberry ice cream dripping from my bell end pushing a sprout up my arse while muttering arhhh ooooohhh that feels good ahhh Understandably this was a shock to her and she let out a scream and as I hadn'nt heard her come in it caused an involuntary spasm of shock in myself which resulted in the sprout being ejected at quite some speed in her direction. I can understand that having a sprout fired against your leg at 11 at night in the kitchen probably wasent the special surprise she was expecting and having to explain to the kids the next day what the strange hollow in the ice cream was didn't improve my status so to sum it up, VEET removes hair, dignity and self-respect.

 

Epic...

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http://www.amazon.co.uk/product-reviews/B000KKNQBK/ref=cm_cr_dp_see_all_btm?ie=UTF8&showViewpoints=1&sortBy=bySubmissionDateDescending

 

Четете и другите коментари.

 

I'm 38 and just started in a new and exciting relationship and bought this gel to get myself looking all snappy and little more human, rather then my current style of big foot... Popping to Boots (where I had no access to any reviews) and trusting this age old British shopping institute bagged two tubes of Veet for Men... rushing home a little like Charley with his gold ticket and looking forward to for coming first date with me Dream Girl (I had waited 3yrs for) I quickly read the box on how to use and for how long... I coated both my shoulders, and having two tubes = 400mls figured little Chuck Norris should be a part in my hair loss party and rub in to what I believed to be my bikini line .... 11mins later my once ample nap-sack had shrunk to the size and circumference of a 10p and sporting the same texture of elephant skin. Both the heat and pain was like nothing I had ever experienced in my life, made even worse that this was self inflicted. To give you some idea of the Veet's profoundly immoral wickedness; for a summer job I use too work in my parents Fish and Chip shop (in Rhyl) and one day quite by accident put my hand, my whole hand passed the wrist in to 280c fat fryer and spent two days in a hospital burns unit, that is the only way I can describe the over whelming and visceral pain.... Even after washing it off, it was so deep in to my now knackered spuds it made little difference?

 

Veet for Men should only be used for hand to hand combat, Street warfare and extracting key information from captives... this stuff should not be the open retail market.

 

I did make it to my first date with my dream girl... and also looked the perfect gent by not trying to jump her on the first date... I just couldn't expose anyone or use my still smelting and puckered remains.

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В това клипче има една част, която е няма в по-дългата версия на рекламата :D

 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZKh68YfQYkE&feature=relmfu

 

МАЙКА МУ Д****А сигурно ще изтрещя някой път наживо и ще се опитам да шамаросам някой. Това Е ме побърква. Честно, каква е логиката да се пише Е вместо Я??? Толкова трагично ли е образованието напоследък?

Edited by djadomraz
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Не, дядо, но това е живият език - една постоянно развиваща се система. Съгласен съм, че е абсолютно неправилно да се пише така. Но е все по-масово явление.

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МАЙКА МУ Д****А

Хайде малко по-спокойно с ебането на майки и стига с тия нещастни забележки, пенсионерски, ревеш като вдовица за х♚й. Режи вените и приключвай с агонията. Точно ти ли ще даваш примери, как се пише?

Edited by vinyl_master
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МАЙКА МУ Д****А сигурно ще изтрещя някой път наживо и ще се опитам да шамаросам някой. Това Е ме побърква. Честно, каква е логиката да се пише Е вместо Я??? Толкова трагично ли е образованието напоследък?

 

 

Хайде малко по-спокойно с ебането на майки и стига с тия нещастни забележки, пенсионерски, ревеш като вдовица за х♚й. Режи вените и приключвай с агонията. Точно ти ли ще даваш примери, как се пише?

eating-popcorn.jpg

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Мен също доста ме дразнят подобни малоумни грешки. Като и/й, я/е... И Виниле, не скачай като опипана монахиня в градския транспот, не съм видял някой да говори за твоите родители, а че от време на време формулираш изреченията си с грешния дял е факт.

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